New Year

..it's 2010.....supposedly i was gonna spend the new year alone with bailey's...but i ended up watching new york i love you...shouting new year to random strangers *i also yelled "you bitch" to a loacl girl who was rude..." and right now drinking... i don't really want to wake my frd up now cause she must be tired...but i might wake her up 10 mins later so that she gets at least 30 mins of sleep "3
i really am feeling depressed and sad..but ive been surpassing the feelings well...but at nights...nightmares and cries.....
anyways...having whiskeys and vodka helps drain my tiredness away and make me sleep well for a couple of hours...
it's really horrible that im one of those kids out there in the world who is unable to accept the reality...it's too fake and cruel...i just really can't stand it...
i swore to do better in everything..to study...to slim down...to be better at different stuff and to be different...but i full filled nothing... i had the ambition..the motivation but it never last long and i hated myself for it...
Right now im chugging down shots of whiskeys...kind of refreshing but it's actually harming my throat and kidney...moreover im only 16..illegal to drink in my country...however i have quite the tolerance..so...i was never drunk...
just blushes easily and feeling tired...

New year New resolutions?
bleh..as if that will really um...be of any help for me...im just a 3 minutes rush person...*another shot of whiskey"D yes im bragging haaha*...


apparently 5:28am...dozing off...*sleeping over at a frd's place*