I had been trying to post blogs at night through my phone but i'm a kluz i always accidentally press the back button, that means all the things i typed in my phone are gone. I didn't plan to type again as it take a long time to, especially when it's  1 or 2 o'clock at midnight.

Now is 12:06am ...i am procrastinating again, i have to summarize my science info on advantage, disadvantage, research on public view, ethic and economic on the use of nuclear fission. Then i'll probably have 4 to 5 hours working on my MYP personal project written statement (my fourth draft).

science due thursday and PP due Friday...ahh gawd i am so stressed... now i procrastinates for no reason, even though i know how important pp is. Perhaps i'm too tired to keep on working anymore but i can't stop cause i don't have much time left...it;s like im at the edge of a cliff.

Since i know i'm not going to work for the while, i'll make it as efficient as possible which is typing this blog. For all i know now is that my dead serious depression is striking back at me. i was calm a week or two ago although depression was with me all the time. But it's not the same anymore...it's getting much worse than it was. The typical hopeless, helpless and despair are so tragic like that i feel so empty, useless, tired and causing me constant pain by the heart/chest and it's crushing me, affecting my motivations on doing IMPORTANT SCHOOL WORK and feel as though my surroundings black out, living in a blind world, don't know where to go, frighten, unable to seek help. By that i mean i have no friends or family who i can consult with and so i consult it with my only best frd; blog.
I feel like crying a waterfall but with the spies' eyes i can't. So i have to restrain myself from showing any emotion except for self blaming, rot until i attempt suicide.

Feel like nothing...i'm nothing...there's no need for me here. like a bird who doesn't suit it's environment  and lock in a cage. Wishing, wanting to be let free and go somewhere else hoping to find a new place where it wouldn't have such melancholy feelings but the feelings of freedom, happiness, a scent of sweet odor hindering in the air, sweet rose and irises smell, cool breeze like the new birth of spring.  All these imagination can run wild but in contract they are nothing but to deceive and divert oneself from the cruel reality.

Tomas Wells has such a sweet voice, i love his Valder Fields song a lot
:3